I have a guilty confession to make.
I LOVE old school horror movies.
Friday the 13th. Nightmare on Elm Street. Halloween.
Long before Scream came out, horror movie aficionados knew that there were certain rules to horror movie survival. Break the rules and you were sure to be the axe murderer’s next victim.
For the uninitiated, the movie Scream laid out the rules to horror movie survival. In this blog post I’ve done the same for you to escape the website stalking Serial Profit Killer (SPK). He’s out there, and he’s just waiting to take an axe to your business profits.
Follow these rules to escape the small business Serial Profit Killer.
This post is part of the monthly Word Carnival series of posts. This month, our carnies tame the topic of website mistakes – from content to design to marketing – so it doesn’t look like your business just hopped off the clown bus. Read the rest of the Word Carnival posts here for more great advice from some of the smartest business owners and entrepreneurs you’ll meet.
Rule #1 Finding Your Prices Shouldn’t be Harder than Unmasking Jason
That hockey mask Jason wore was scary.
Trying to unmask Jason to learn his identity was scary and hard.
If I’m interested in your product or service don’t send me on a two hour adventure to learn the price. If you sell a product clearly state the price.
Do NOT make me add a product to my cart or checkout to learn the price.
Guess what? I’m going to click away instead. You want to entice your prospects, not irritate them.
For services I can appreciate that some companies really do need to speak to a prospect. That’s fine, but make it clear how I can get a quote and don’t force me to listen to an endless sales pitch before I get any clue of your price range. Odds are you’re wasting my time and yours.
Personally I prefer to have pricing benchmarks for services on my site. That gives people an idea if I might, or might not, fit in their budget.
Seeking to unmasking Jason was a life or death objective in Friday the 13th. Seeking to unmask your prices is an irritation that will simply turn off potential clients (and I hear SPK is looking for new mask, so he may just show up!).
Rule #2 Don’t Imitate Late Night Infomercials
Nothing will attract a serial killer quicker than a bunch of sharp knives. SPK is no different, and late night ginsu knife type ads draw him like a moth to a flame.
You know the ads I’m talking about. They start out claiming the product is worth $100, $200 or even more. Then the spokesperson makes this claim:
If you order right now they’re yours for only $19.95!
But wait, there’s even MORE! We’ll add a second set for FREE!!! That’s right you get TWO sets of ginsu knives for only $19.95 A $400 value can be yours for only $19.95!
Do you really believe that those knives are worth $400? (psst, if you do please contact me asap – I’ve got a deal for you!). Of course not, and that offer isn’t really a limited time one either. In my world limited time offers don’t last months or years.
What those commercials really do is make you doubt that the knives are even worth the $19.95. Of course then there’s the “processing & handling fee” that at times doubles the cost.
Yet I see people imitate this sales technique all the time online. They start with their core offering, something which probably does have real value to their target market. Then they start heaping on this ebook, that workbook, this webinar, that consult – all for “free”.
Deep down you know it’s not really free. Either it’s in the price of the base product, or it doesn’t really add value to the package. While it might get some people to click buy, they’ve now put you in the same category as late night infomercials. Do you really want to be in the same category as the Sham Wow guy?
It’s only a matter of time before the Serial Profit Killer shows up.
Rule #3 Don’t Get Caught by Bait & Switch
Most horror movies include at least one scene where a (soon to be) victim is lured to a remote location thinking they are meeting someone they know and trust.
To me there’s nothing worse than being sent to a website for what I think is a fair deal (or perhaps even a reasonable sale), only to discover while in the process of paying to get what I *really* need the price will be two or three times the amount promoted.
Ok, there is one thing worse – when they wait until after you’ve made the purchase and then hit you with all these extra fees. It’s like those satellite TV commercials. No one ever really pays $19.95 a month for satellite TV. After rentals, fees and taxes you’re looking at least double that for basic channels.
Do you know anyone who likes satellite or cable companies? How do you feel about getting led to somewhere on a promise only to get your wallet ambushed when you arrive?
Don’t be the person who leads unsuspecting prospects to a fate worse than death.
Final Thoughts
Have you been been stalked by the internet Serial Profit Killer? How have you evaded him? What lessons can you share?
Holy crap, I couldn’t agree with you more on the premise of “valuing” your product or service.
At least once a week I see an offer which, at best, is generous with their valuation, and at worst downright stupid. This is the hallmark of an information-gap-abusing marketer. Rather than educating their clients and helping them to grow, they rely on the information gap and deceitful pricing practices that it brings about.
About two years ago my friend Kevin simultaneously praised and warned about the “free economy”. What he meant was, attention was becoming a sparse resource as notifications and on device things grappled for our attention-the way that many marketers fought this was through giving a free offer of something insanely valuable, like an hour of their time, or phone call, or coffee meeting. This ended up wasting time with unqualified leads sneaking into the sales funnel, not being vetted, and then taking up an hour of your time with no intent to buy.
What resulted was the biggest resurgence of the bait and switch mentality that the Internet has ever seen. In exchange for free meeting, you’d be signed up for life to that persons e-mail list. from which there was no unsubscribe. They sent it personally using BCC. In order to unsubscribe, you had to assuage your own guilt and tell them to please stop sending you e-mail, usually ruining the ability to look them in the eye ever again.
You raise some particularly brilliant points, thank you for the post.
Nick I know exactly what you mean about the biggest bait and switch – ugh! Since attention is at a premium there is a fine line between speaking with a potential client to understand their needs and simply giving away free consulting. I confess I made the mistake of doing the latter before. Now I’ll only do a call to discuss needs and prepare a formal proposal on how specifically I can help them.
Live & Learn!
You are just all kinds of awesomeness with your analogies! The best (worst??) one is when you have to add a product to your cart… AND don’t forget, usually get halfway through the checkout process – before you can find out what something costs. Nuts, I say!
Also that stupid thing with the deal… the $400 thing for $20. So basically, it wasn’t worth $400 in the first place, right? I think some people just see the huge price tag and think whoa, I have to take advantage of this! Meanwhile, back at the ranch… you have to ask yourself if it’s even worth $20.
And DON’T even get me started on the extra fee crap. I am seriously neurotic about that. Whenever I buy a service, I always ask “and is that the final cost? and how many added taxes and fees are there?” The last time I switched mobile providers they gave me some BS low price and I said, “So when I get my credit card bill and your charge is on it, is this the exact number it’s going to be?” Well hells no, it was that plus like $40 in “other”. Not such a deal anymore, huh.
Anyway you managed to amuse and enrage me at the same time. Good job!
Carol Lynn we must be sisters in spirit – I ask that exact same question about what will show up on the credit card or bank statement. I think I need to start having a hidden camera when I do it in a store (like Verizon etc.) – the expressions are priceless.
I hope the rage is gone and amusement remains.
Yes, yes, yes! I was simultaneously booing and cheering as I read this, Nicole – booing for all the times I’ve experienced this (especially hate the checkout cart ambush) and cheering you for calling them out! Great job!
I’m glad the boos weren’t for me! Checkout cart ambush is really annoying. Unless I’m truly desperate I won’t be buying from those sites.
I love and appreciate all your examples, Nicole, and I wholeheartedly agree with your take on how people are bamboozled into hitting the buy button!
I’m going to take the liberty to add Rule #4:
Go ahead and throw trustworthiness out with the bath water. It’s practically non-existent. Keep your radar finely tuned, your antennae up at all times, and for heaven’s sake … do your due diligence!
For the love of all things marketing, I’ll NEVER understand why so many people avoid listing their pricing online. Drives me bonkers! The first thing that always comes to mind is, “What are you trying to hide?!” “Are your prices so outrageous, you don’t dare let Joe Consumer in on them?” “How do you expect to sell anything??”
After years of experience online, I click away from websites far more often than hang around.
Please don’t get me started on cable companies. 🙁
Very enjoyable post with loads of sensible advice!!
I can definitely see Rule #4. In horror movies there is often one person who has cried wolf too many times. When the real bad guy shows up no one believes them. Lose your credibility, lose your business. Good one.
All the horrors associated with lousy client attention, care and service Nicole. My worst are airline fees, the one where you think you couldn’t pass them up at that price until they whack on the taxes. The providers know that it is going to virtually double the airfares, but they already baited you so why do they care. It will bite them one day.
Exclusivity is the other one. Only two left, OMG I must buy now. One month later, how amazing those same two still for sale? Or still only 3 days and 3 hours 25 seconds left to make the decision from a week before?
I love your analogy although I can’t watch horror films since seeing that woman stabbed through the shower curtain in Psycho when I was about ten. Nightmares ever since especially behind a shower curtain!
Airline fees are absolutely awful! The baggage thing in particular. I mean there’s almost no room to put a bag above your head (not to mention in front of you) and even if you can fit it you can only have small amounts of liquids. And I actually saw a guy getting his deodarant taken by TSA.
As far as horror movies go, I only like the campy ones. I’ve never watched SAW, that just sounds way too disturbing.
I love #2…I hate when I have to act like I am going to purchase it to find out the price. I will do that, and then even if I can afford it, NOT buy it because I had to do that. Such an emotional buyer I am, and I suppose I may have been sold if I read the long ass sales page, but most times I don’t..I will skim and all I wanna know is the price..THEN I might read it to see if I really want it. I am such a Gemini…Loved this as usual Nicole!
Michelle I must be a Gemini wanna be – you just described my behavior to a T!
It’s amazing to me how many sites still use these tactics. We all hate them. Are they using these as red velvet ropes? One that kills me is sending me to your website from an email list that I’m ALREADY subscribed to and asking me opt in again. Hub spot is the worst as their optin forms are a mile long already. We can put people in space but we don’t have the technology to send current subscribers to their own simple clickers click page? Ugh!
Yes, yes yes! If you already have my email don’t ask for it again, and again and again. Hubspot is pretty bad, in the end I just unsubscribed from everything.
It is my #1 online shopping pet peeve when a product’s price isn’t clearly marked on a website. I will look around for about a minute, and then I’m off to do another Google search to find it somewhere else. Same goes for services: like you said, even posting benchmarks or low/high estimates can give potential customers an idea of what you charge. Most people aren’t interested in having to contact someone just to get a benchmark price or a loose estimate; they will move on and find the information they need somewhere else. Great advice!
Molly we are absolutely on the same boat. I’m ready to spend money, why do you make me work so hard?
The late night Infomercial is dead on. If the value was really cut down by that much why is the seller even in business? I mean really, what a sucker, right? lol…great points Nicole!
Thanks for stopping by Ryan. I guess some people really think somehow they are getting that deal. Hope to see you here again 🙂