Wrinkles are bad.
Youth is beauty.
Never trust anyone over 30 40..
World domination is a young woman’s game.
A number, yes a number, was scaring ME –
The Numbers Whisperer®!
How could this BE?
Perhaps the world really IS coming to an end.
Or I could drag out my rose colored glasses and fire up that half full optimism. Here was a chance to relate to my audience, to my clients in a whole new way. A chance for a real life, soul baring look at my own fear taming.
Scary? Yes.
Intimidating? Absolutely.
Would I do it? Wild horses couldn’t stop me (although I’m not sure why they would want to…)
Deep breath – here we go!
40 is NOT the New 30
A number is a number. As much you might like to pretend it’s a different number, it hasn’t changed.
Yes I could tell myself, “People are always saying I look younger than I am.” Or “People live so much longer now.” Another common one, “Age is not a number.”
At this point my natural number loving soul kicks in. Age is calculated by the current year minus your birth year. That gives you a (drum roll please) NUMBER.
40 is my number, so I need to pull my head out of the sand and face it.
And that inner struggle gave me a clear insight into the fear and dread many have in facing their small business financials. They fear, perhaps even know, the number is not the one they desire.
Ignoring it won’t make it go away. Pretending it’s something else doesn’t work either. I’ve heard countless variations on the following justification game.
Well we didn’t really lose money this year. We reinvested our profits / tried some new ideas / had a learning curve / had a bad hire / left the dog in charge.
Step one in my quest to overcome the fear of turning 40 was to accept that I was turning 40.
Sounds easy, almost silly right? Now go back up to the justification quotes above. How often have you done that? How often have you failed to simply accept that your financials ARE accurate?
Accept reality. See your fear.
Now it’s time to DO something with that acceptance, which leads to …
Wrinkles, Mom Jeans and More
I’ve got wrinkles.
I don’t fit into the jeans I wore in high school anymore.
I have joints that occasionally creak.
These are some of the things many fear about turning 40. They are certainly clear reminders to me that I AM 40, whether or not I want to admit it.
I realized it was MY perspective that needed to be changed. To get rid of my fear of turning 40, I needed to look at all the little fears that made up my feelings.
Let’s take wrinkles. The common reaction to wrinkles is like spotting a mouse in the kitchen, “Eeek there’s a wrinkle! It’s going to contaminate me! I’m oooold!”
It was time for a fresh perspective on wrinkles. I realized that my wrinkles tell a story, they represent a lifetime of happy memories. Now when I do notice wrinkles I think to myself:
That wrinkle is from all the smiling I did the day I was married.
This wrinkle is from all the laughter I’ve shared with my friends.
That wrinkle is from all the joy my daughter brings me.
This wrinkle is from laughing at my crazy cats and airhead dog.
I don’t expect you to be excited when your profits are negative. However there are plenty of numbers you can like, even love. Here are some examples;
- Number of new clients
- Number of newsletter subscribers
- The number of articles on your latest offering
- Sales numbers in the past week
Pick just a few positive numbers in your business. When your fears start to creep up, focus on the positive ones. If you someone handed you a check for $50,000 you wouldn’t turn it down because of all the numbers, would you?
Nature abhors a vacuum. You’ll never rid yourself of your fears if you don’t replace them with something positive.
About That World Domination Thing
It seems like a lot of work. And I’ve noticed that the bad guys trying to take over the world are never happy. Seems like a crowded space, with lots of competition and a questionable outcome.
That’s when I decided my mission is to Make Finance Fun.
It’s doable. Not a lot of competition. And by definition I’m going to enjoy it!
It’s Too Late. I’m Too Old.
Fiddlesticks! (Ok, I’m not that old).
I recently met an accomplished entrepreneur, Jeanne Rogers of Presence-The Ultimate Gift. Jeanne is a former teacher who decided to become a paid speaker. As her own business grew she found herself helping others get gigs. So she started a talent agency for local performers, artists and speakers which is also very successful.
Jeanne is 81 years old.
Yes 8 decades plus 1. She started her speaking business at the age of 65. She didn’t start it because she needed the money, she was just ready for the next challenge.
Jeanne also recently began to co-host a local cable show called Generations. After I heard Jeanne’s story I told her that I wanted to be just like her when I turned 81.
While you may feel as though your finances are hopeless, your bookkeeping beyond redemption, and your pricing worse than a blindfolded game of Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, you can still turn it around. Take off the blindfold, arm yourself with knowledge, and recruit some reinforcements.
It’s never too late to fix your finances and love your numbers.
Final Thoughts
To help my readers face their fear of numbers, and replace it with appreciation, I’ve asked some accomplished bloggers to share their thoughts about the number 40. Not about turning 40, but anything about the number 40 in any way, shape or form. You’re going to be amazed at all the great things 40 can be!
You might also want to check out my free eCourse – Tame Your Fear of Finance.
Nicole Fende is the 40 YEAR OLD Numbers Whisperer®. She’s on a mission to make finance fun. Nicole helps small business owners rock their profits through her consulting, weekly radio show, online TV show, speaking engagements, and her book How to be a Finance Rock Star.
Wow, Nicole, way to put a positive spin on things! I turned 40 – 3 years ago – and I still hate it 🙂
I don’t know what it was, I didn’t have a problem being any other age but once 40 hit I suddenly felt very, very old. Maybe when I’m 50 I’ll think 40 was the greatest thing ever.
So thanks for a little inspiration here, and you’re right, it’s not going away. (Well, until I’m 50….) But seriously, it doesn’t help to be in that weird negative mindset, especially when you look at someone who is 81 and probably doing more than I’m doing at half her age.
Be forty and fabulous!
Thanks Carol Lynn, I believe the right attitude is half the battle in any situation. Forty & Fabulous is my mantra for the next decade!
What a powerful insight into refusing to look any numbers full in the face, age or financials. I think it may be otherwise known as denial!
Mentally our image of our age and our bank account can be just as inaccurate as each other. I used to always think of myself as 25 in my mind and get a shock when I saw an image of a much older women in a shop window or mirror. But you do such a disservice to yourself by not acknowledging the wisdom and experience that comes with age and just how much you’ve learned along the way.
Similarly, I had become a past master at believing there was more in the bank, up our sleeves or owed to us than the paperwork was telling us, but it ended up costing us dearly, so I don’t do that anymore.
This is a timely reminder to see it as it is. If the numbers aren’t stacking up, far better you know about it and adjust accordingly. If your face has a lot more history in it, your mind is probably even more of an encyclopedia of knowledge that you can share and serve with.
I’m 60, a full third older than you! 40 truly feels super young to me. But then Jeanne possibly thinks of me as a spring chicken. And if she can start a speaking career at 65, I am fired up to do the same.
Just imagine what you can achieve and experience in the next 20 years folk? Awesome. And as for you Nicole, you will doubtless be a world- dominating financial rock star! Happy birthday.
Sandy I’ve had the mirror / window shop thing too. Right now I’m usually accompanied by my daughter which adds another layer to the surrealism. Yet it also firmly grounds me in today. I wouldn’t trade my current life just to look 20 again.
Can I be the universe dominating financial rock star? Thanks for commenting.
Those who have fears in numbers do not want to grow old actually. You are right that instead of fearing numbers why not that we are going to appreciate it. It is just a matter of ourselves of how are we going handle it.
Thanks for stopping by Marie. Hopefully a few of your fears were brought down to size
“left your dog in charge.” Not quite that bad. 🙂
I love your proclivity for story and analogy – very helpful to all us creatives out here.
And BTW – I LOVED all of my 40s. Best decade ever. The 2nd half of the 60s isn’t shaping up badly either. Hang on – you’re in for a great ride.
Thanks for your presentation at Prosperity’s Kitchen – your enthusiasm and approach to numbers is VERY helpful!
LOL – well in a few rare cases offices actually allow pets. A friend of mine, Laura Bennett, is the CEO for Embrace Pet Insurance. They allow, actually encourage, pets in the office.
Thanks for sharing about your 40’s. I’m amazed at all the positive feedback I’ve gotten on this decade – if only mainstream media would get a clue.
Loved my time over at PK. Huge fan of Tea’s and am an armchair cheering squad for the contestants. Good luck!
Hi Nicole! I came across your website/blog today, and recognized your name as one of the nice people who helped me this past Monday in Google+ while watching the live video stream with Danny Iny and Tea Silvestre and others… Anyways, you were very helpful!
I wanted to leave a comment here since I turned 41 last summer, and I am also feeling OLD! I am trying to make some changes in my life, too, where my writing is concerned. It is scary to try new things… Do you have any advice for me? I would appreciate some feedback. My very first blog post, called LIVING MY LIFE can tell you more about my goals. I am a new blogger, too. I am also kind of lost…
Hi Lorraine,
Great to connect here and glad to hear I was helpful. When I first started out online so many people gave me a hand, it’s important to me to return that favor to others.
Forty was scary. Really, really hard for me – that icky O world (OLD). Congrats on trying new things. To me if you’re not learning something new you may as well be six feet under. Definitely a worse alternative!
I’ve been blogging for over two years now (started out on http://www.smallbusinessfinanceforum.com/blog/ you can see my old stuff there). The best advice I was given, and can give to you – just write. Pick a schedule, even if it’s only once every week, and post something. Over time you’ll find your voice, your audience and solidify your message. If you try to wait until you have all those things you’ll never start.
I’ll be sure to stop over on your site and comment too. Good luck!