I have a confession to make. I am a compulsive problem solver. Tell me your woes and within 5 minutes you’ll get a barrage of questions followed by an array of solutions.
Annoying?
I’m sure it can be, especially if you’re just looking for a friendly ear.
Yet many friends and colleagues come to me with their problems because I offer solutions. Good solutions. Useful ones they can implement.
While this seems to be an innate compulsion talent, I believe it can be learned as well (being a problem solver and all…).
Enter The Mind of Compulsive Problem Solver If You Dare
This post is part of the September Word Carnival. The topic is The Art and Science of Solving Small Biz Problems. Click the link to get a variety of perspectives from an amazing group of small business experts.
Special Audio Frequency for Problem Solvers
Alternate Title: What my brain hears when you share a problem
I would compare this to a dog whistle. When you blow one, there seems to be silence, but it sure gets your dog’s attention.
Here’s an example of how this special hearing ability works.
Colleague Says, “My desk is always filled with stuff. I’ve tried all those productivity and organizational books, but nothing works. It’s so frustrating.”
What a compulsive problem solver hears, “I need to organize my desk, but none of the traditional solutions are working. Help!”
How about this one?
Colleague Says, “I know people say social media is useful, but it seems overwhelming and relatively ineffective. I’m just going to focus on what has worked for me in the past.”
What a compulsive problem solver hears, “I think this social media thing may be good for my business, but I’m uncertain. Can you reassure me and help me get started?”
Probably the most common one for me, yet seems to surprise people the most.
Colleague Says, “It’s just not possible.”
What a compulsive problem solver hears, “Man this is really tough. It’s a real brain teaser. It’s going to be hard but you can help. Dig in now!”
How to hear this frequency. It’s actually really easy, no special equipment required. You can start in your next conversation. While other(s) are talking, ask yourself, “Are they sharing a problem? Are they expressing frustration with an issue?”. If the answer is yes, move on to the next step.
It will take some time to make this a habit. You might put a sticky note on your cell phone. Consider challenging yourself to spot as many problems as possible in your next networking event. Keep it up, only repetition will turn it into a habit.
Diagnosing the Complaint
Alternate Title: Determining the Root Cause of the Problem
To become a compulsive problem solver you must use the symptoms to correctly diagnose the problem. Just like with your physical body, treating a symptom may not solve the problem. If my back aches I can take some over the counter pain medicine for temporary relief. However the pain will come back if I don’t address the root cause. Is it my chair? My posture? Some extra weight? A slipped disc?
Once you’ve identified a complaint, you need to dig deeper, and get to the central problem. Let’s take a look at the examples above.
Messy Desk Complaint
- Is this person having trouble finding things?
- Does this person find the messiness a distraction to getting work done?
- Is this person more concerned with what others will think of their desk? That actually the mess is not an issue for them.
Social Media Avoidance
- Does this person genuinely need social media? Is that a good wayto reach their target market?
- Is this person simply intimidated by the technology? Worried that it’s just too complicated and they’ll “mess it up”?
- Is there a deeper issue with sales and bringing in new business?
Warning: Don’t pull out the spotlights and thumb screws. This isn’t an interrogation, it’s a gentle examination of a problem.
Solutions Super Hero
Alternate Title: Activate Your Super Powers
You don’t need to get bitten by a radioactive spider, or have been born on the planet Krypton to be a Solutions Super Hero. You already have super powers, you just need to use them.
Just like super heroes, we each have our own unique strengths and weaknesses. The trick is to leverage them to their fullest. Here’s a quick primer on the three main ways you can help someone find their solution.
The Connector
Connectors know people. In fact they seem to know everybody. More importantly they know about people’s talents, their products and services and their personalities.
Sound like you? Then next time you’ve diagnosed a problem, consider who you know that would be a great resource to solve the problem. Then make an introduction.
The Curator
Curators collect information. Think of them as the librarians of life. They excel at finding obscure resources, and cataloguing it (even just in their heads) for future reference.
Can you name five different websites to find synonyms? Or the best bird song identification tools? Then you’re a curator. Once you’ve diagnosed a problem just cast your mind over resources you’ve “just happened” to stumble across. Easy for you to share, invaluable to the other person’s success.
The Implementer
Implementers attack problems. Once identified they are ready to spring into action, testing this idea or that tool.
Do you itch to dig into a challenge once its been articulated? I know I do. And that makes us implementers. Sometimes we serve as the General, outlining a specific strategy and then delegating execution. Other times our skills and abilities are a match for implementing the solution. Just remember to ask permission before gleefully diving into execution mode!
Special Offer
Alternate Title: Gratuitous Self-Promotion
Do you need the services of a compulsive problem solver? Not sure what exactly the root cause of your problem is? Convinced that there isn’t a solution to your challenge?
I’d love to help you. In fact, I’m itching to help. To make it easy I’m offering you a full hour with me at a special rate. Simply click here, use the code ProblemSolved, and get a fantastic deal.
What have you got to lose? Other than your problem.
Nicole Fende is The Numbers Whisperer®. Her mission is to make finance fun and profit easy. Check out her recently released book, How to be a Finance Rock Star: The Small Business Owner’s Ticket to Multi-Platinum Profits.
I can totally relate to your need to problem-solve, Nicole. And I’m pretty sure I get my own (similar) needs from my father who was never one to sit around and say things like, “yes, that certainly DOES sound frustrating.” His mind kicked into full-on problem-solving mode before you could say jack sprat. It annoyed the crap out of my mom, but I totally see his side. I mean, how much good does it do to sit around and cry about a situation? Not much. HOWEVER, I’ve also learned that I can also be helpful to start one of these conversations by listening fully and letting the person I’m with see that I get their pain. I just don’t let it go on forever. My favorite line is okay, your 15 minutes of whining are over. Now, what do you want to do about it? It’s the softer, gentler side of my father’s daughter.
All that to say: anyone who takes you up on your problem-solving super powers offer is lucky. YOU are one of the smartest people I know.
Tea I love the idea of a 15 minute time frame to winge and whine away. Then either stop or work on constructive action. I’ve occasionally been guilty of jumping the gun (see my warning in the post).
As the found of my martial art always said, “The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.”
Love, love, love your description of the three types of solutions superheroes, Nicole. I’ve decided that I’m part curator and part implementer. I agree that it takes intuition to work out what the real issue is that people are facing and sometimes you have to balance that with whether they really need to solution they think they do.
Sharon I’ve got a healthy dose of Connector in me, and a dash of curator. But my first impulse is invariably Lets Dig In! The bigger the challenge, the more eager I become.
Thanks for highlighting the need to help people suss out their real problem, not just keep treating the symptoms.
Big challenge for me because as a coach I’ve been trained to not focus on the problem, but my natural tendency is similar to yours – a bit compulsive 😉
I’ve learned to check in with people now and ask if they want coaching, straight-up advice and problem solving or just someone to listen. Feels a whole lot better!
Sandi – yes I’m still learning to ask. Sometimes the words just pop out. If that happens I apologize and then ask (better late than never right?)
You would get along well with my husband! He’s very analytic-minded. Whenever I mention something remotely problematic to him, he goes into auto-solve mode and I just roll my eyes and say things like, “Can’t I just bitch about the stupid parking lot without you giving me six easy ways to drive??”
I like your superheros and maybe in one of my lives I can be one too! I totally agree that you have to dig to the root of a problem because it’s often not the stated problem.
And to Tea’s point, I think there is art in this, too – and that comes in by letting people do their whining them cracking the whip and getting to the “now what” part. No point in wallowing and it does get exhausting.
Yes I think we would. I’ve spent many a fun filled hours solving the worlds problems over a cup of coffee or glass of wine.
In defense of both your husband and myself, we really do hear a plea for help. I can’t explain it, other than we’re hard wired that way.
Ooh, good one – I’m not sure which one I am, probably a combination of all three to some extent. Also, I’m with Tea – I am forever trying to SOLVE the problem instead of just empathize, which with my clients is good but with my daughter? Eh, not so much. :/ And you, Nicole, are indeed a superhero problem solver!
Annie I think we all have at least a little of each. If you’re well balanced in all three that rocks. My daughter is only 4, but already I see the suggesting solutions is not welcome.
Obviously interesting post of yours about compulsive problem solving related. I think you are a professional about this subject. Is it true or is it possible? I am a beginner about this subject. So, I have no more idea about compulsive problem solving. If I need your help then I try to get your solution. Thanks.
Greatly value this insight into the mind of a compulsive problem solver!
You so rightly identified that when someone mentions an issue, what they’re really feeling about the situation can be quite different.
I’m an implementer slash connector, (love those descriptions). The eager beaver implementer approach to resolving an issue immediately for a client was sometimes misconstrued as an inelegant grab for additional work, when in fact money was the furtherest thought from my mind. But if you aren’t clearly asking and listening first, you can get this component of serving someone quite wrong.
On the other hand, without putting boundaries around the listening component (like the 15 minute time frame Tea), you stand to become unpaid counsellor and that’s a trap too.
Thanks Nicole, great post!
Thanks Sandy, I realized as I sat down to write this how many people have trouble understanding my compulsion. The other is always starting with “Two things…” but that’s a whole other ball of wax.
I hadn’t even thought about the appearance of an inelegant grab for more business. But now that you mention it, yes that makes sense. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind as well.
I think your article is very useful to everybody’s health because your compulsive problem solving thinking. I like article very much. Thanks for your fantastic topic.
Such great insights and such good solutions!!!
Oh my. Once again it seems as if you and I were cut from the same cloth.
As a mix between the curator and the implementer, I tend to listen for problems that I can fix. This is just plain deadly in the consulting realm, wherein I often try to solve problems that are out of scope and incongruous with my own contract. This has led me to do a lot more web design than I would have liked, done a lot more expensive contracting work under a less expensive line item billable rate, and been a lot more frustrated than I would have liked.
On the other hand, a keen ability to quickly diagnose a problem and offer up a solution has been a mixed blessing, in a way. I often offer up solutions which are ignored because the advice was unsolicited, only to bear witness to that same solution being implemented some time later. Or, worse still, being approached after an alternative decision was made which was the wrong decision, and then asked by former clients to help remedy the problem.
The more I diagnose problems in others, the more I’ve come to realize that people only really want to hear what they think aligns with their world view. That they weren’t at fault when they really were. That things will get better with an easy fix when none exists. The human capacity to deceive oneself is unmatched by any other self-destructive trait.
A great deal of empathy is required by us problem solvers to A) avoid shaking some sense into the people who ask us for help only to willfully ignore our advice, and B) understand that even though we think we have the perfect solution for these folks and we may be absolutely right from a tactical perspective – we’re entirely wrong from an emotional one.